Ask The Undertaker: Female Pallbearers Why Are Pallbearers Male

Dear Pat,

Is it okay to have female pallbearers? I think it would be nice if my daughter could be a pallbearer along with the other grandchildren when my mom dies.

-Alice N.

Dear Alice,

Being selected as a pallbearer is an honor and a way for close friends or relatives to participate in the funeral service. The short anwer to your question is 'By all means, Yes!' women should be selected as pallbearers just as men are. With that said, some things you should consider before selecting a pall bearer of either gender are:

Are they strong enough?

Do they have any injuries or medical conditions that may make carrying a casket difficult of dangerous?

Will they be able to attend the service, and be there in time to receive instructions from the funeral director?

Pallbearers of either gender should remember that cemetery grounds are often muddy, slipery and unstable, so sensible shoes are a must.

-Pat McNally, Undertaker

PALLBEARER CASKET CARRIAGE - New England Cremation Supply Pallbearers Weight

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• Description

Description

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What Is Expected Of A Pallbearer Pallbearers Dancing

There are quite a few decisions you need to make when planning . It isn't easy when you're in mourning, but it helps to have a checklist.

One of the things you need to do when is determine who will carry the casket if there is one. And if there isn't, you may want to have honorary pallbearers.

Whether you are a pallbearer or need to choose pallbearers for a funeral, it's important to understand what is involved. This is a position of both honor and responsibility.

A pallbearer is someone who is selected by a close family member of the deceased to help carry the casket to the burial site . There are typically six to eight pallbearers, depending on the size and weight of the casket. They can be men or women.

Honor of Being a Pallbearer

No one wants to be in the position of having to carry the casket of , but consider the fact that the person closest to the deceased trusts you with carrying his or her loved one to the final resting place. As difficult as it may be, it's an important responsibility. If you're asked, it's good to accept, unless there are circumstances that prevent you from being able to carry out the responsibility.

Pallbearer Selection

It's never easy being the person having to make decisions for a funeral after someone you love passes away. Surround yourself with people who care about you and can help you with whatever need arises. This includes selecting the best pallbearers.

Some people feel that it isn't proper to ask a family member to be a pallbearer. If you feel this way, choose very close friends you trust. The current thought on the etiquette of choosing pallbearers is that it is acceptable but not necessary. Other people you may want to consider are business associates of the deceased, you can trust.

Remember that the purpose of a pallbearer is to transport the remains of the deceased from one location to another. This can be from the hearse to the church or . The pallbearer should respect the position that requires dignity and respect as well as the ability to listen and follow directions.

Caskets can be quite heavy, so make sure all of the pallbearers are capable of lifting. They may have to walk over uneven ground, so female pallbearers should wear comfortable shoes and clothing that enables ease of movement.

For people who have chosen cremation, a traditional pallbearer is not necessary. However, you can choose honorary pallbearers who walk alongside and behind the person carrying the urn with the ashes.

Here are some tips on choosing pallbearers:

• Most caskets have six or eight handles, depending on the size. You'll need to select one pallbearer per handle.
• Men or women may be pallbearers. When selecting them, make sure they can keep their emotions in check. A sudden emotional outburst is disrupting and can make a sad situation even worse.
• Choose carefully. Most of the time, pallbearers are special to the family. They may be very close friends or family members, but you probably don't want to pick someone who has trouble holding back his or her grief. This includes grandchildren who are old enough for the responsibility, cousins, nieces, nephews, and members of an organization that was dear to the person's heart.
• Consider naming an honorary pallbearer. If someone isn't capable of helping carry the casket, give him the special honor and allow him or her to walk or ride his wheelchair beside the casket.
• Send to all of the pallbearers after the funeral.

If You Are Asked to be a Pallbearer

When someone asks you to be a pallbearer, it means that he or she has confidence in you. Accept the honor and responsibility if at all possible.

Tips to follow if you are a pallbearer:

• First, understand what an honor this is. Handle it – a dark suit with a tie for a man and a dark dress or suit for a woman.
• Listen to instructions and special requests from the funeral director and staff. Do what they ask.
• There is typically a special place for the pallbearers to sit during the funeral. Unless you have a valid reason for doing otherwise, stay with the rest of the group.
• Be supportive of family members and stay after the funeral to talk with them. This is the time to let them know what the deceased meant to you.

What To Wear To A Funeral | Beyond Pallbearers Dress Code

To dress for a funeral, you are generally expected to wear clothes that conform to and follow the family’s wishes. Most of the time, family members close to the deceased just want to see that you’ve made the effort.

That being said, choose clothes you will be comfortable in as the funeral will last several hours. If you don’t own anything suitable see if you can borrow an outfit from a friend who is a similar size, or you could rent a funeral outfit.

For a traditional funeral, you should wear:

• Formal clothes in black or muted colours, unless the family has asked for more colourful funeral dress
• Black shoes
• Formal coat
• Clothes should be clean, comfortable and un-creased
• Think about what you might wear for a job interview – keep it smart and respectful

Black funeral dress is the most common symbol of mourning, but other dark colours, like navy blue or maroon are also acceptable, as long as the clothing is kept conservative. The family may request a certain dress code, for example some families actively discourage black to make the funeral a less sombre event.

Churches and crematoriums can be cold, and you may be waiting outside before being admitted in, so unless it is the height of summer it’s best to take a coat.

You may not have a choice over what to wear if you are appointed as pallbearer. Usually around six pallbearers are appointed to carry the coffin into the funeral service. Due to the fact pallbearers are on display during the funeral, the family may specify what kind of suit they’d like you to wear, or purchase a suit for you, so all the pallbearers are dressed the same.

For women, traditional funeral wear is:

• A smart dress or skirt and blouse, with a cardigan or blazer
• A warm coat
• Clothes in tasteful colours – no bright colours or loud patterns
• Respectful attire – skirts and dress should be knee length and not too revealing

For women, clothing options vary. You could pair a knee-length skirt with a nice blouse, or a dress with a vest underneath, so that there is no cleavage on display. Layer-up with a cardigan and don’t forget to wear a coat – many funeral service venues can be chilly! Smart trousers are just as acceptable, and more practical in winter. If you’re not keen on wearing all black, you could wear a light coloured scarf to subtly add another colour to the outfit, or choose a black dress with a pattern. Keep jewellery minimal and understated.

For men, traditional funeral wear is:

• A standard black suit (grey or navy blue can also be acceptable)
• A clean, white shirt
• Plain black tie
• Smart dress shoes in black
• Avoid jeans and trainers

For men, the standard clean white shirt, complemented by a plain black tie, is a classic look that works well at every funeral. It’s worth noting that a suit is not compulsory unless the family request it. and a pair of smart trousers and a nice sweater will suffice. Don’t dress too casually – it’s important to show you understand the solemnity of the situation and have made an effort to look smart. If you have no appropriate clothes in your wardrobe, you could consider renting a suit.

What not to wear to a funeral

Avoid anything too short, revealing or suggestive – the focus should be on the deceased and the grieving family. Unless expressly stated, do not wear bright colours or anything festive and avoid busy patterns. If you aren’t keen to wear black, keep the colours subdued. Modest heels can help dress up an outfit, but go for flats if you are attending a burial ceremony, as you may need to walk over grass.

Deciding on a funeral dress code

Many families will request mourners to attend in a certain dress code, which is useful as it helps people navigate funeral etiquette. If the funeral is traditional in style, it follows that the dress code will be traditional too, in which case you could ask people to come dressed smartly. However, most people will assume the dress code is smart black attire if no specific guidance is given. Colourful funeral dress often reflects the deceased’s energy, lust for life and attitude to death. For children’s funerals, many parents ask people to come wearing their child’s favourite colour.  It’s advisable to not be too vague with what people should wear. Giving a dress code like, ‘smart casual’ can often cause more confusion.

You can announce details of the funeral dress code when you place a death notice in the local newspaper, or mention it when inviting people to the funeral.

If you’re be sure to leave dress code instructions within your funeral plan.

If you’d like the funeral to .

How To Select A Ballbearer How Many Pallbearers Do You Have

When you are faced with a decision of who you will ask to help carry your loved one to their final resting place you will need to consider several things including but not limited to, symmetry, age and health of the family members, number of available family members, and of course size and weight of the deceased including his or her casket.

Carrying a casket for a loved one is one of the highest honors that can be bestowed upon a family member or close friend.  The selection of pallbearers is one of the few parts of the funeral that is left entirely up to the remaining family members to decide.  Normally there are six people who will carry the casket into and out of the church and into the cemetery.  Ordinarily they are selected based on symmetry and their physical ability to carry the casket.  For instance if you have six men, and four of them are five feet six inches tall and two are six feet tall, its highly likely that the taller men will be in the center on either side of the casket with shorter men on the ends of the casket.  This formation is usually utilized for aesthetic purposes only.  There is no special significance to holding onto a particular spot on the casket.

When the deceased is of considerable age it is likely that his or her lifelong friends and remaining loved ones are also quite aged.   Although these loved ones are older and possibly in poor health they normally feel extremely honored for simply being asked to carry the casket but often times for health or strength purposes they will decline the invitation.  In this situation it might be time to turn to younger family members such as sons or daughters of the deceased or their grandchildren if they are of mature age.

You do not need to be concerned about whether or not your selected pallbearers have any experience carrying caskets in the past because the Funeral Directors will take a moment with each of them, or all of them as a group to go over what will be expected of them.  Often the pallbearers will be asked to ride in one of the vehicles driven by the Funeral Home staff to ensure they all arrive at the same time the deceased arrives at their destination.  Usually they are transported in a limousine which follows closely behind the hearse.

In cases where the loved ones are not well enough to carry the casket or no family member is old enough or strong enough to do so some other options are often available.  If you make your Funeral Director aware of the problem with a shortage of appropriate pall bearers, often they can substitute as a pallbearer, or other Funeral Home staff can assist.  Your Funeral Director is there to assist you in any way that they can.  In some cases the casket is carried entirely by the Funeral Home staff, while in other cases one or two Funeral Directors will work together with 4 family members to fill up the extra space.

Corpse Falls Out Of Coffin During A Dance By Pallbearers Pallbearers Hearse

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Dipublikasikan tanggal 3 Mei 2019

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